They told him tales of angels, of heavens, of milk and honey, of people living happily ever after, and of places where the sun doesn’t set.
He grew up loving the rain and all of that bleakness it brings. The sound of pattering drops, the flashes of lightning and the gentle rumblings of thunder in the distance. He hadn’t an idea why he gravitated so much towards something that is totally the opposite of a peaceful sunny day.
Perhaps that was how he defied semblances of a normal child and delved into a world where it might have shaped him to be who he is today. And if anyone were to point the accusing finger at him attempting to blame anyone but himself for this fracas of a life, they could not be anything further from the truth.
Truth is, he was all ready to accept responsibility for how things turned out. In fact, he was happy to embrace it.
The hard part for him would be to do anything to unravel all that he had sucked up since he was that wee boy lying in bed during any one of those stormy nights when he decided he loved the rain more.
Slowly as days passed, angels, heavens, milk, honey and their ilk were so distant from his world that they became lies. And that was when the seeds of cynicism and skepticism on stories of hope, joy, love and all things nice under the sun were sown.
It could well have been vastly different, especially with kids having that tendency to fantasise about those que-sera-sera-esque things. It’s akin to the “what ifs” we have always thought about during the course of our lives.
Mind-numbling activities only make him oblivious to the voices in his head. They drown out all those voices, which mock at him about how he was simply the expired piece of shit sitting on the shelf at some forgotten corner of the mama shop. They start the moment these activities end.
But not the rain. They calm him. They bring him back to a time and place when he was simply the wee boy all wrapped up snugly in the blanket, moments before he would decide how he would grow up loving the rain.
It was a time when thoughts of the grim life of a man being held hostage to his hopes and fears were a universe away.
Given the choice, his desire would be to fade into nothingness.