The running conversation inside my head (part of)

A cat would calm you, of course. You’ll probably be fixated by it: thinking about it on the way to work or as you endure the wafts of pungent dried sweat on the evening commute home, tossing through the many options for a name (as obiang as you want), and using an inappropriate pronoun – him / her, he / she – instead of the proper “it”. In short, it’ll do a whole world of good for you and your sanity. Do consider?

I don’t think I’ll have a cat as a pet. Then again, I don’t know if I should try. It’s just too much of a stretch to make things happen. For one, there’s still this belief that cats stink more than dogs and they are dirtier…

You could educate them. Owning one would. Bulldoze your way through.

There’s the fear if the cat prefers the painstakingly sewed cushion covers to the proper scratching post. Cue hue and cry. There’s that tank in the corner and that machine that hums while cooling the water / air for the fishes. Cats and fishes aren’t the best of friends. This may induce fear, especially when the tank’s not covered.

You know. You should really think about moving out.

I’ve frustrations that you don’t know about because I’ve not said much about them, if at all. In fact, I’ve walled myself up in this area too.

Where do your frustrations go then?

Inside. So imagine with me, if you will, this tiny element of frustration infused with a ton of other emotions swirling in my system – soul, body, mind, heart or whatever you wan to call it. And this is just what I’m saying it to you.

You don’t let them out?

How to? I could express through writing, but I find myself hiding in between words, sentences, paragraphs and the third-person perspectives. I can’t talk to anyone about them because the wall is my only protection and reminds me against spilling way too much.

God?

Oh Him…

He’s said something, albeit indirectly, hasn’t He?

*long pause*

So how?

I don’t think I’ll have a cat as a pet.

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