Sometimes words would never be enough or that there’s no point in broadcasting thoughts and expressions.
Maybe this is the beginning of an end. Time has given another perspective, which simply highlights how it can possibly be self-absorbing and propagate attention seeking behaviour.
What does it serve? What cannot be shared privately and that it has to be said publicly? At the end of it, it appears to be simply an avenue for feeding one’s ego or the never-ending race to win yet another online popularity contest.
Friendships were weakened. Cracks were exposed. The search for understanding or empathy becomes fruitless. The feeble craving for acceptance dissolves as one attempts to shout louder than the other. And sometimes, rage rears its ugly head. The spirit of being human breaks.
We forget that life is much more than this. There are other races we have yet to put ourselves in. There are other battles waiting for us before we breathe our last. In our haste to broadcast, the thoughts of how there are kinder places and people become myths.
The lack of acceptance or even understanding can break a man’s soul, but the propagation of this through hate, rage and anger can destroy whatever kindness, even if it appears to be merely an illusion, that is left in this world.
Perhaps the greatest lesson learnt through all of this is to be responsible whenever I express myself. It should never be caustic. It shouldn’t be to hurt.
It’s now mostly about living life on the edge. In the past, everything else was an illusion. They appeared solid at first glance, promising honey and nectar and “happy ever after”. But when the illusion they carry shatters, the heart breaks. Once. Again. One time too many.
Patience and the occasional flutter of the heart are the fuel for life for now. There appears to be no other solution, no other source of strength, until the storm recedes. It may never recede. It may just be another of those illusions that play with my heart – being carelessly tossed about, notwithstanding its fragility and the hope it has been craving for.
Or it could just be the start of when hope finally enters, prevails and heals.