There comes a point in time when you know that you’ve been getting way too much of something. The last thing you want is for it to get in your face everywhere you look or turn to.
Unfortunately, there have been way too much surrounding three events from the past weeks and it irritates me immensely.
Firstly, it’s the “vroom”. The hacks lap it up to no end. Every man and his dog decide to take advantage of this “artificially” created buzz and storm by taking every opportunity to link their advertisements to the “vroom”. On the radio, you hear people talking about it. On the telly, not a minute passes without hearing the (now) highly irritating sound of a souped up engine. You see red engines on almost every page in the papers. The “F” term turns up almost everywhere you look or everything you hear and there were occasions I was tempted to join in the fun by being liberal in my use of another “f” word.
This is notwithstanding the chaos this “vroom” thing creates in the heart of town. Apparently no one thought about how it could spur racer-wannabes to soup up their engines and zip across lanes on the expressways during the peak hour for that “vroom” adrenaline rush. Or making their engines as boomingly loud as possible so that they get the attention from every man and his dog along the expressway, from Pasir Panjang to Pasir Ris. And I wonder how much fuel these machines (including the racer wannabes) guzzle and the amount of carbon monoxide they displace.
Talking about “vroom”, there is a word, no it’s a term, that rhymes and is threatening to go into our Singlish dictionary. It all started when some beauty queen decided to show the world what poor diction is on some internet video. Within days, or even hours, every man and his dog were trying to speak like her in a tired bid to garner some giggles. By the office water cooler, this phenomenon rears its ugly head. Firstly, a choice selection of the beauty queen’s speak would be uttered. Then, you hear some sniggers and giggles. The next thing you know, another choice selection gets uttered and the whole cycle repeats itself. Beyond the water cooler, you get the same tired jokes about “leopard preens” being thrown about in the office e-mail server, the same water cooler conversation gets reprised in the train cabins, and at food places. Before you know it, some self-styled Dinosaur of the Blogging Kingdom would come up with yet another tired joke-of-a-podcast about the “boomz”. Oh wait…
While the dust tries to settle, we have almost the whole island now talking about two seemingly unrelated issues – credit card fraud and beauty queens – in many a single sentence. Can you please send someone to (South) Africa already?
Last but not least, the news-starved local media was collectively reporting on “the Wedding of the Year”. Our dear celebrity couple of this wee island tied the knot recently and you know this place is news-starved when you get reports about their wedding dinner on the front pages of the rags. Going by what was covered, sellers of white radish and curry vegetable rice are rubbing their hands with glee. And I’ll wager that the “sour-sweet-bitter-spicy” routine that “sisters” of the bride subject the bridegroom (and his “brothers”) with on the first day of the wedding would become a novelty in the considerable future.
Now, unlike the “vroom” and the “boomz”, the local celebrity couple is married and all that fuss and dust surrounding this piece of news (which is not really news to me) should die down soon.
However, the “vroomz” has not really departed from our fair shores. It will return around this same time for the next couple of years, bringing back chaos in the heart of town and the “F” word. The “boomz” will take the crown as the latest colloquial buzzword on this wee island as a noun, adverb, adjective, a verb or a combination of all. Our being-worked-to-the-bone educators on this wee island can expect the word to appear in their students’ compositions anytime soon.
You know what? In comparison, Santa Claus and the jingles he brings on the airwaves aren’t that irritating after all.